Couples therapy is a unique opportunity to safely explore your relationship, interactional patterns, and the universal "dance" that we all can enter into in our most intimate adult relationships. Often there is an identifying situation or contextual issue that may bring you and your partner into couples therapy, such as family planning; financial stress; work/life balance; parenting; communication difficulties; sexual intimacy; life cycle transitions; employment stress; negotiation of conflicting needs; individual differences; navigating an open relationship or polyamory; in-laws and extended family; infertility; child loss; moving through gender identity transition; emotional or physical infidelity or other forms of betrayal; grief and loss; difficulty adjusting to changes in the family or couple; and addictions or other emotional/mental health related challenges.
When relationship issues arise, you or your partner may end up feeling:
- Unimportant, alone, or ignored
- Not good enough or that you can't "get it right" with your partner
- Anxious or afraid of losing your partner
- Fear of losing yourself or your individuality in your relationship
- Shut down and withdrawn
- Distrustful or suspicious of your partner
- Unseen or unheard by your partner
- Angry and resentful at imbalances of power and control
Through our work together, I will help create a safe, egalitarian relationship with you and your partner to help you see how your emotional experiences direct your relationship dance, which is the interactional pattern that becomes reinforced over time, causing distress and distance rather than safety and connection. The therapy process will begin to illuminate the underlying emotions and needs that are often disguised or lost in relationship conflict, and you and your partner will learn how to create a more secure and satisfying emotional experience together where you can interrupt the cycle before it escalates. In your couples therapy, I pull strongly from Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Imago Relationship Therapy. These approaches emphasize the power of emotional experience in relationships and how such power can be used to reconstruct intimate bonds, with the aim of therapy being to increase accessibility and responsiveness in your love relationship so that you can feel seen, heard, and understood by the one who matters most.